Jennifer Touchie and the Yuułuʔiłʔatḥ Government education department welcomed teachers and west coast community members to the Cixʷatin Centre in Hitacu on April 28 for a special day of learning about how to support youngsters impacted by generational trauma.
Indigenous counsellor and owner of Tiičmis Wellness Anita Charleson-Touchie opened the discussion in the morning and renowned parent educator Dr. Vanessa Lapointe gave a talk in the afternoon.
“The ultimate Nuu-chah-nulth law is the protection of its children,” said Charleson-Touchie.
When a child has trouble expressing feelings or managing emotions, they are often called ‘dysregulated’ or ‘emotionally dysregulated’, Charleson explained.
She said many Nuu-chah-nulth and Indigenous children are “born into dysregulation” due to three devastating waves; the first wave was disease that wiped out 70 per cent of the population, the second wave was the Indian Act that made practicing culture illegal, and the biggest wave was Indian residential schools, where Indigenous children existed with a ‘don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel’ mantra.
“We are recovering from these three big waves, generationally. That’s why I always say, don’t ask why the addiction, but why the pain,” said Charleson-Touchie.
Participants joined a deeply emotional experiential role play where children sat around culture items with their mothers, grandmothers, two-spirit relatives and warriors standing around them. To demonstrate the impacts of the three big waves, Charleson tapped the shoulders of individuals, and those individuals had to leave the circle. The cultural items were dragged away. The children were placed at a distance, the boys in one area and the girls in another.
“This is such a visceral feeling,” remarked one educator upon witnessing participants leave the circle and the cultural items disappear.
“That’s my life, seeing everyone separated,” said another teacher who was selected to leave the circle. “I just want to go back to the circle. That’s the mom in me, that’s the warrior in me. If we just go back to the circle, we’ll gain all of that back… Our culture and our traditions, and our children will come back.”
Charleson-Touchie invited her back to the circle, returned the cultural items to the middle and brought the children back.
“This is what we are recovering from generationally. I think that it’s really important to know where is this dysregulation coming from,” said Charleson-Touchie.
“What do we need to rebuild the circle? What do we need to make it safe for everyone to return to the circle?” she asked the group.
Alberni Residential School survivor Nora Martin shared her healing path.
“When I left that school, I became an alcoholic and so did my siblings. I’ve been sober for 38 years now, and it was not an easy road. It has taken long to recover. The biggest thing that helped me recover was my culture. That’s how we stay strong, re-learning our culture,” said Martin.
Ucluelet First Nation’s qʷayaciikʔiis Childcare Centre staff Skylene Patrick and Marissa Mack spoke about how events like potlatches bring children and culture back to the middle.
“If it weren’t for those, I don’t know if my kids would be singing and dancing the way they do,” said Patrick.
“Our children are being nurtured the way that they used to be,” said Mack, adding that gifts which were once taken or medicated away by caregivers are now being celebrated.
“That’s a huge indicator that we’re healing. Our gifts are being recognized, and they are being used in our communities again,” she said.
Lapointe emphasized the need children have for connection.
“Connection is our air. Connection is more important than food,” said LaPointe.
She told a story about how she started her career working with the Ministry of Child and Family Development within the child protection team. She said the job was so stressful that she needed to hire a therapist to cope during her first year.
“You want to know why I stayed? Because while it is true that trauma affects the developing brain very differently than the adult brain, it is also true that those developing brains want to be okay. And if you give them half a chance, you’re going to see miracles happen right in front of your eyes,” said Lapointe.
“It has been the most humbling experience of my career to watch children who come from horrible, horrible experiences, see them really connect with who they are and come out the other side of that thriving. That’s what’s possible. And to get there, we need to make sure the big people are okay,” she shared.
