David Tom of Tla-o-qui-aht First Nation, and about 40 of his family, friends and relatives, traveled from Tofino to Ditidaht First Nation on Dec. 21 to Tiic as (a proposal) asking Carl Edgar Jr. for the hand of his daughter Sarah in marriage.
As the cars made their way into the community and approached Carl Jr.’s house, his mom Christine was sitting outside. Christine introduced herself and members of her family, and said she was very happy with what was taking place.
Brian Tait, speaker for hereditary chief Citixaab Paul Tate, stood to support Carl Jr. and thanked everyone who gathered to witness this proposal.
Before proceedings could go ahead, however, Carl and his family made a small request of David and all the men of Tla-o-qui-aht. They were asked to go to the back of Carl Jr.’s house and chop wood and to neatly pile it on his porch. Such asks are typical in traditional proposals, proving the groom’s worthiness and ability to take care of his bride to be.
The task took about 30 minutes and, while waiting, Rose Edgar provided blankets and served coffee to the elders of Tla-o-qui-aht. The weather was cloudy and dry, but very cold.
To start the ceremony, Linda Edgar and another lady did three chants to call on the ancestors and the Creator to seek guidance and protection for the day.
Elder Moses Martin of Tla-o-qui-aht acknowledged the Ha’waiih (hereditary chiefs) and the Edgar family, and thanked them for allowing the guests to come to their community.
“We are here to support and honor what this young man David is doing. David is showing respect to Sarah.” Moses also said the family would ensure that Sarah is taken care of by the family.
Moses introduced David and explained which house he belongs to. David comes from the house of Na quimalth, Simon Tom, and the house of Ewas, Nuukmis, Robert Martin Jr.
David received the name Tu tah uup, “Always Causing It To Thunder” from Nuukmis. Sarah was given the name Guy tah summa, “Big Female Thunderbird”. Brayden, Sarah’s son, will be known as Yoksis, “Long Beach Man.”
David’s parents are Howard Tom Jr. and Catherine Williams.
Levi Martin, speaker for Nuukmis, did a chant and said the chant is used for happy occasions.
He also talked about family connections and was in attendance to provide guidance and support to David.
Brian spoke of the Ha’wiih and how they value and treasure Sarah. Sarah has many talents and is a hard worker, culturally involved, spiritual, cooks, cleans and sews. She is a great mother to Brayden and takes very good care of her family.
The Edgar family knows how Sarah conducts herself in the community. She chose to call home in the Tla-o-qui-aht hahoolthee (chiefly lands) and is very proud of her and how she is involved with culture, community events, and is friendly and outgoing.
Brian said the family had a small test for David, and invited all his family, friends and relatives to participate in their tu pahtee. A red container was brought out. David and family were given the opportunity to guess what was in the container and to do that they had to decide how much they were willing to pay for each guess.
A first clue was given: It is loud, fast and priceless.
David and family made several guesses—smoked fish, jarred fish, moowich and clams. To continue, the family paid more money and the additional clue was “It is smart and unique.”
The third time David guessed correctly by saying Rondo. Rondo is David’s dog. A picture of the dog was in the container.
During the proceedings, Carl and family asked David to not work so hard. They heard that David worked a straight 140 hours recently, and asked that he take time off work and spend time with Brayden and Sarah.
During the planning meetings that were conducted with the Edgar family, David’s parents, Cathy and Howard, shared that they are very proud of their son and added that David has never had a drink or smoked in his life and spoke about the elders’ teachings for David to never change his ways of helping people.
Carl had an itstoothla (coming of age ceremony) for Sarah when she became a young woman, and is very proud of David and said that David did the right thing 10 years ago by asking Carl permission to date his daughter, and he had proven to Carl that he was the one for his daughter.
David was asked to speak to Sarah’s parents, Carl and Shelley, and explain how his life will be—His Promise. David said he will be more available to Brayden, he will have Sarah by his side forever, he will be more involved with culture and he will have Brayden sit in the circle (culture) with him. Carl said these are good words and said “I believe you, David.”
Carl’s mother Christine also spoke to David and thanked him for who he is and saying that he has very good teachings. She said as soon as David came to their community he has always been busy working, chopping wood, cutting fish, smoking fish and helping with Carl’s business.
Requests from Carl were for David to get a truck load of fire wood two times a year for 10 years, and to have prawns when they come to visit.
The Edgar family also asked David for a 30-foot dugout canoe, 5-foot totem pole, regalia, moccasins and shawls. The family obliged, and David said “No sweat.”
In closing the Tiic as, the Ditidaht’s began singing, and Dorothy Burn and Peggy Tate walked Sarah and her son Brayden from the house to where David and his family were waiting. Sarah wore a white dress and white shawl adorned with purple appliques, beaded frontlet and a cedar head band.
David wore a beige shawl and a cedar hat.
As Sarah was walking down to join David, they both were overcome with emotion. Happy tears flowed down their faces. David’s family welcomed Sarah and Brayden, as hugs and congratulations were exchanged.
Carl and family invited everyone to a dinner at the community hall, and due to the weather and for safety reasons to ensure everyone made it safely back to Tofino, they decided they wouldn’t dance until the wedding in February.
During dinner, the families sang dinner songs, and a few people got up to speak about the day and explain family connections, reiterating how proud they were of David and Sarah.
Lawrence Curley, uncle of Cathy, spoke and expressed his appreciation and explained his family lineage. Cathy’s mom Loretta Williams is Larry’s sister. Late John Williams’ mother was late Mildred and his father was late Cecil Smith of Ehattesaht.
John was raised by late Eva and Herbert Williams of Tla-o-qui-aht. Eva is related to the Olebars from the United States. Herbert originally came from Haida Gwaii.
Brian acknowledged Weslea and Carol Anne Tom and said they have direct multh mums to Ditidaht. Their grandfather is Daniel Edgar.
Brian thanked Linda and Terry Rabiteau for preparing and cooking the food.
Steve Howard, cousin of David, spoke on his wife Allison’s behalf to invite Sarah to call on Allison if she ever needs help or needs someone to talk to.
The families were very pleased with the outcome of the day and said the Tiic as was beautiful and memorable, and are looking forward to the wedding.
